Christmas Movies, Pt. 2

Last week I shared my list of must-see Christmas movies. Some people questioned why certain movies, like "White Christmas" weren't included.

Because I didn't watch "White Christmas" growing up, so it never found a place in my nostalgia bin.

I've watched it as an adult. Nice movie. Bing and Danny Kaye were big stars, and nothing beats Bing singing "White Christmas." But it's not must-see for me.

There are some Christmas movies that, when I've mentioned I've not seen them, I get incredulous looks from people. See, I'm not a big movie-watcher. I go to the theater maybe 6-8 times a year. Maybe. And I don't rent movies a whole lot. Seems I can always find something better or more pressing to do with my time.

So there are a lot of good-to-great movies out there that I've never seen.

Shoot, I had never even seen "Casablanca" until last year.

So, here's my list of Christmas movies that I haven't seen that everyone seems to think I should:

1. "A Christmas Story." When someone mentions something about a Red Ryder BB Gun and I look at them with a puzzled look, I end up being the recipient of some diatribe about what a great movie it is and how in the world have I not watched it.

Truth is, until last year I had never even heard of "A Christmas Story." It's been out for 20 years; where have I been? Sorry; I know I must be some kind of cultural Philistine for having missed this bit of classic Americana. I'll watch it, I promise. Someday. When I don't have something more pressing to do.

Sheesh.

2. "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" starring Chevy Chase. Never seen it. Never even caught five minutes of it on T.V. All my friends talk about how funny it is, share their favorite scenes with each other, and I have to stand off to the side and watch. I'm not allowed to play in any reindeer games, because I'm the only one who hasn't seen the movie.


That's it; that's the list. Every other Christmas movie that I haven't seen I can find plenty of other people who haven't seen it or who have but don't think it's the greatest thing since Rudolph's red nose.


There is one more list of Christmas movies/specials that I need to mention. Go on Amazon or something and search for Christmas movies, and you'll find some that will make you wonder, "Who thought this would be a good idea?" Really, really lame Christmas specials.

So here's my list of Christmas Specials I'm Glad I Never Saw:

1. Donny and Marie's Christmas Show. Too much teeth.
2. Barbie in a Christmas Carol. Barbie--yes, the long-legged doll--as a Scrooge-like diva?
3. Barney: Night Before Christmas. I'm dreaming of a purple Christmas? Don't think so.
4. Ernest Saves Christmas. Ernest was funny for a commercial or two, but not for a full-length movie.
5. A Carol Christmas. It "stars" Tori Spelling, William Shatner, and Gary Coleman. Thespians everywhere must have gone into mourning.

Unfortunately, this list could go on and on and on.

But I can't.